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• Cruises are a great vacation option, but there are common mistakes to avoid in order to get the most out of your experience. 
• The cost of drinks and other incidentals adds up quick, so watch your spending carefully. 
• Don't expect to use your phone much either. 
• Booking a cruise and shore excursions is all about the right timing. 

With apologies to road trips, taking a cruise may be the great American vacation. You pay a set rate to sit in the sun and eat massive amounts of food, while only spending a minimal amount of time on foreign soil. And if you're not into that, well, it's also four days to rattle around a boat with nothing but booze and people you'll never see again. How could it go wrong?

While it's hard to truly mess up a cruise, having the right info before you go in can make for... OK, we're not going to say "smooth sailing," but you get the idea. So here are some common mistakes to avoid to make sure you get the most out of your cruising experience.

Booking shore excursions through the ship

Though the shore excursions the ship offers might look enticing (oooh! A make-your-own straw hat class!) they are also the most marked up and oftentimes leave at times that are, well, earlier than you want to get up on a cruise. There's this crazy thing called the internet now where you can research things to do in your ports of call and compare the operators who run them. Booking this way not only gets you a better price, it also might expose you to some cool stuff you won't find at the excursion desk.

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The best small towns to visit in America are easy to commit to for a weekend.

But if you're going to full on move to a small town, you gotta be selective.

Pick wrong and you'll be bored, underpaid, and isolated.

But pick right, and you can get all the best aspects of a metropolis — energy, creativity, charm, excitement — without the up-yours prices and the built-in migraines.

So we asked dozens of writers around the country to find the small American cities (with a max population of 70,000) where they'd put down roots. We looked for up-and-coming hotspots (think, Asheville 10 years ago), underappreciated gems, and towns where a person with verve could scratch out a cool life. Places where you can raise kids and those kids can raise dogs and those dogs can raise hell. And where, when your friends visit from the city, they take a seat on your porch and say, "Damn, this is nice. What does your mortgage cost, again?"

SEE ALSO: How I cut my $80-a-week grocery budget in half without eating less

Hood River, Oregon

Bisbee, Arizona

Port Chester, New York

Affordable rents and a bustling downtown that'll make you forget Brooklyn.

Population: 29,000

No need to live in Bushwick or Williamsburg to feel like you're a New Yorker. Just an hour-long train ride north from Grand Central, and you'll find yourself in Port Chester. This Westchester County village has all the allure of a poppin' Brooklyn neighborhood, minus the bulls---.

Obscenely high rent? Not here. Mayor Dennis G. Pilla told The New York Times, "Millennials are moving here from the outer boroughs and other places because of the bang for the buck." You can land a 1/1 apartment for $1,600, aka what you'd pay in NYC only if your aunt owns the building. Maybe you could even (hold onto your hat, now) buy.

And get this — there's actually stuff to do. Since the Capitol Theatre (built in 1926) was reopened in 2012 by Brooklyn Bowl owner Peter Shapiro, huge acts like Bob Dylan, Father John Misty, and the Pixies have been booked. The fleeing New Yorkers ensure a healthy appetite for bars, brunches, and well-respected restos.

You can hit bartaco or Mario Batali's Tarry Lodge, or scarf down a chili cheese dog from Hubba's, a hole-in-the-wall shop that's been around for over 100 years. Then gaze around at the once-sleepy town for people who still can't bring themselves to admit they might one day wind up in Connecticut. —Rebecca Strassberg

• Researchers are developing a drug that tricks the body into naturally producing melanin. 
• This causes skin to temporarily darken, giving you that healthy glow without ever having to step foot in the sun.
• This pill could also reduce the incidence of skin cancer by providing a safer alternative to tanning. 

The days of having to lay out in the sun for hours, doing irreparable damage to your skin, just to to achieve the perfect tan may soon be over. That's thanks to a group of researchers who are currently developing a drug that tricks the body into naturally producing melanin, causing skin to temporarily darken and, ultimately, exude that highly sought-after healthy glow without sunlight or dangerous UV radiation.

Hear that? It's the sound of George Hamilton squealing with glee.

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• These cities, while greatly underrated, have some of the best food in the world.
• While Canada might not be the melting pot that is America, its province of Alberta has a vast variety of menu options that could compete with NYC.
• Foodies from all over will take pleasure in these delicious cuisines.

The pleasures of eating turn downright mysterious when you combine them with world travel. Why should a cup of coffee taste like angel tears just because you're drinking it on a hotel balcony looking out over Florence? How can a taco curl up in your soul like a warm cat just because it came from a steam-belching street cart in Oaxaca? Why does a coconut taste sweeter than flame-kissed crème brûlée when a dude machetes it open right on a Hawaiian beach?

Maybe travel makes you hungry. (It does.) Maybe travel opens you up to romance, and the passions alive inside new flavors. (It must.) And maybe travel gives you the feeling of true discovery, as if you, and only you, have communed with this dumpling or sashimi or empanada that you flew 14 hours to track down.

If that feeling of exploration drives your foodlust, you should head to any of these cities that traditional foodie travelers might overlook. (If you don’t want to stamp your passport, the US also has some scandalously underrated food cities you have to visit to believe.) Some of these destinations are close by, while others will require a legit journey. In every one, you’ll find a meal that may change the way you taste everything you eat from here on in. You’ll try to explain it to your friends later, but — you know, sometimes you really just have to be there.

Palermo, Sicily

Italy's overlooked godfather of street food

They don’t make cities like Palermo anymore. Its 2,500-year history is a tale of conquests and reconquests, as Sicily was relentlessly squabbled over by a who’s-who of Mediterranean superpowers: Greeks, Romans, Arabs, Byzantines — hell, even the Normans popped in for a while. Each left its mark on Palermo’s storied streets, where baroque palaces stand alongside Moorish mosaics. At the crossroads of the Mediterranean, this is a melting pot of cultures — and some seriously good cooking.

They call it cucina povera: the kitchen of the poor. Forget polished pop-up trucks and artisanal superfoods; in Palermo, the street food is served quick and dirty at wizened markets around town — Ballarò, Capo, and the granddaddy, Vucciria. Kick off with a slice of spongy sfincione pizza and a North Africa-inspired pane e panelle, a carb-tastic sandwich of chickpea fritters and fried potato cazzilli (literally “little penises,” but not literally little penises); add some eggplant if you’re feeling guilty. Now steel your stomach for the main event, stigghiola — a skewer of lamb's guts stuffed with fat, scallions, and parsley, all barbecued to a crisp. Finish up like a don, with some exemplary cannoli, made with candied Sicilian orange and whipped ricotta fresh from the hills.

If you have just one meal: Palermitanos won’t take you seriously until you’ve had your first pane ca meusa, preferably from Rocky Basile’s mobile cart — they don’t call him King of the Vucciria for nothing. The specialty sandwich consists of beef spleen sliced up and sizzled in lard, then packed into a sesame roll with a generous helping of grated ricotta. OK, it sounds kinda gross, but with a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lemon, it’s an offer you can’t refuse. — Jonathan Melmoth

Mumbai, India

A movable feast of India’s flavors

Mumbai is a riotous urban kaleidoscope: the pace is frenetic, the streets manic, the energy pulsing. Its 500-year journey from fishing village to megapolis is rich with Hindu kingdoms, Muslim dynasties, Portuguese and British colonists, and rabid modern development. Colonial buildings stand alongside modern towers, seaside mausoleums face Portuguese churches, and hipster enclaves serve the same clientele as dusty Irani cafes. Even when this city overwhelms you, it’s electrifying.

The fast pace cues everything in Mumbai, even the food, the best of which is eaten on-the-go and found on the streets ‘round the clock. Look for the vada pav, which pairs batata vada (a chickpea-coated potato fritter) with the Portuguese-origin pão (bread roll) and a host of red-green chutneys — Mumbaikars swear by Anand vada pav stall in Dadar. Then there’s chaat, a catch-all phrase for crunchy sour-spicy snacks, the most famous of which is bhelpuri, a flavor punch of puffed rice tossed with potatoes, onions, tomatoes, crispy sev, and tamarind chutney. Try the coastal Konkani cuisine next: fresh and tangy fish curries fiery with chili and coconut, and if you still have room, get a meat fix with tender kebabs and chicken tikka rolls at the always-packed Bademiya. Finish up with a glass of sweet, part-dessert part-drink falooda from Badshah at Crawford Market to abate the fire that’ll no doubt be raging in your belly, by this point.

If you have just one meal: Make a beeline for a plate of pav bhaji, Mumbai’s most powerful culinary metonym in popular culture. A crimson mash of potatoes, spiced vegetables, and tomatoes, with unimaginable quantities of butter, pav bhaji might not sound like much. But when you eat it seaside from one of the many stalls on Juhu Beach, it becomes a definitive experience in Mumbai. — Nidhi Chaudhry

Edmonton, Alberta

A smorgasbord of gustatory adventure in North America’s northernmost metropolis

If you have just one meal: Arancini and tonnarelli at Corso 32 might make you wonder if Italian cuisine has reached its apogee thousands of miles from Italy. — Lewis Kelly

When you ask Americans why they don't travel abroad, the top reason they cite is cost.

But once you get on that plane to a cheaper part of the world — Southeast Asia, say, or Central America, or even, yes, Northern Europe — man do the prices drop. You won't realize how rich you are until you land in one of these countries where the pint you pay $6 or $8 for at home is now less than a buck, or the bottle of wine at a fine restaurant runs all of $4.

How you get to these countries near and far is up to you (though you can score cheap airfares and save money on flights in all sorts of ways).

Once you get to your destination, though, you'll find yourself having adventures, exploring beaches and jungles, and still living cheaper than you do at home. 

SEE ALSO: 20 under-the-radar travel destinations to visit before they get too popular

Bosnia and Herzegovina

History and adrenaline in Europe's most diverse country.

How to roll big on the cheap: Bosnia is an amazing slice of the past in present-day Europe, a glimpse of a time before the homogenized nation-states we know today became the norm. Its eclectic mix of religions and cultures fascinates with the exotic, and then surprises with the familiar. It's cheap, too: Dorms in hostels go for $10, and a restaurant meal will set you back $5 or $10, with street food costing significantly less. Beer is about a buck, and you can get excellent local wine for similar prices. That is, if you pay at all — Bosnians are notoriously friendly and thrilled to have visitors, so don't be surprised if they try to treat you.

It's also filled with natural wonders and amazing, tragic history. Sarajevo has ruins from the 1984 Olympics that are freely explorable (just watch out for landmines — I'm not kidding) and a great river canyon for hikes. An ancient, rickety train threads its way through the mountains between Sarajevo and Bosnia's other great city, Mostar. For a terrifying early morning voyage, part history lesson, part slow-motion roller coaster, pack into dirty-windowed wooden cabins with cigarette-smoking laborers, eat your börek (basically a Bosnian sausage roll), and watch the Balkan Mountains fall away beneath you.

If you get a chance to splurge: Bosnia's mountain rivers provide some of Europe's best white water rafting, and companies run tours from most major cities. — Conor O'Rourke

Spain

In Andalusía, the best things in life are (almost) free. 

How to roll big on the cheap: Life is good in Spain's sunny south, where you can go to almost any bar and fill up on cañas (half-pours of fizzy yellow beer) and carb-y tapas like croquettes and patatas bravas for less than 10 euros. In Granada, some spots still offer botanas (portions of food get larger with each round of drinks you order), so if you play your cards right, dinner is basically free. When all else fails, you can always spike a 2-liter of Coke with rum and join the local teens in a botellón (technically illegal street parties) down at the plaza.

But even highbrow culture is everywhere, and often free. Take a self-guided walking tour of historic architecture, wander into museums admission-free, or stumble on government-sponsored concerts and fairs. A hostel bed can be had for around $25/night, tickets to a bullfight run as little as 10 euros, and while you can easily pay $50 for a flamenco show in Madrid or Barcelona, the art form actually originates in the south, where you can catch some of the world's best dancers, singers, and musicians performing for tips in dimly lit underground peñas.

If you get a chance to splurge: Jamón, jamón, jamón. — Maya Kroth

Laos

Southeast Asia's only landlocked country keeps your wallet fat.

How to roll big on the cheap: If we're being honest, in a country like this, it's hard not to roll big. Prices for accommodations vary around the country, but you'll be hard-pressed to spend much more than $5 a night. Meal in a restaurant? How does one dollar sound? A beer? Another dollar, please. Unlike neighboring Cambodia, you'll need to exchange your American dollars for bundles of the local notes, kip (exchange rate: 1:8,360). You won't be able to do much with these outside the country, so make sure you spend them all before you leave. This may prove a challenge.

So what's a baller to do? In a word: relax. Go to Vang Vieng and float down the Nam Song River in an inner tube. If you get thirsty, just tie up at one of the riverside bars for a drink. If that's too slow a pace for you, rent a motorbike for $5 a day and visit the region's breathtaking cliffs and waterfalls. Or head south to Don Det and learn the true meaning of chilling in a $2-a-night bungalow overlooking the Mekong River. They don't call it the Lao PDR for nothing — Please Don't Rush.

If you get a chance to splurge: A sunrise hot air balloon ride over the hills and valleys of Vang Vieng is unforgettable. — Conor O'Rourke

• Montenegro is slightly smaller than Connecticut.
• Montenegro is ideal for chilling on the beach, exploring ancient cities, hiking, raging all night, swimming in pristine mountain lakes, and even skiing.

So there I was, driving up the Adriatic coast in a beat-up white panel van. My friend’s band had broken up midway through a European tour, and she found herself in sudden need of a driving buddy to relay-race the rusted thing all the way back to Brighton. That was the plan, to drive across Europe. It was hot, and we both wanted to swim, but many of Montenegro’s beaches are private, with public strands few and far between.

I tried to keep one eye on the road as I scanned the beach below. Somehow, something on the side of the road caught my eye: a couple in their 30s, thumbing their way up the coastal highway. I pulled over and invited them on board.

“You like party?” the woman asked after a few moments of silence. “Is great beach party near to here, you love it, good for young people, good party.” I raised my eyebrows at my friend. “Free entrance,” the hitchhiker continued. “Nothing to lose.”

One muttered joke about famous last words later, we were on our way to Ploce Beach, the Balkans’ answer to Cancun. And it turned out to be just as loud and sloppy and good for young people as the hitchhiker said it would be. We bumbled into Montenegro, and I’m glad of it. But this beautiful country should be on your radar well in advance for a Euro trip one day. You’ve got nothing to lose.

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• Even nice hotels can have bed bugs lurking around.
• Check everywhere in your room when you first walk in — including bed frame, sofas, pillows, mattresses, and luggage stands.
• The bugs can be hard to spot because of their dark color, so using your phone flashlight will come in handy.

It was always sweet when mom used to say stuff like, "Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite." Like you really had a choice in the matter. Nobody in the history of beds or bugs has ever actually wanted those pesky little bloodsuckers chawing away on their skin all night. But, inevitably, it can happen.

In case you aren't an aspiring Gil Grissom, bed bugs are the common name for Cimex lectularius, a flat, louse-like insect that lives off the blood of other animals. Because they're so dark, they can be hard to spot, especially when hiding under furniture or in dark corners of your hotel room or hostel bunk. And while they don't transmit any diseases, they can leave nasty, itchy bites that are at best highly uncomfortable, and at worst leave you boiling all your clothes as soon as you get home.

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• Victoria's Secret is one of the most glamorous brands in the world, but working there is a completely different story.
• From horrific fitting rooms to irritating prank calls, a lot more goes on at the famous lingerie shop that just bra fittings.
• Below, five former employees reveal the good and the bad of working at Victoria's Secret. 

Most people know Victoria's Secret for employing some of the most beautiful women on the planet in pursuit of getting the rest of the women on the planet (and the men awkwardly shopping for them) to purchase various sexy underthings. However, most people don't know what it's like to work there.

As a three-year veteran Victoria's Secret sales associate, my retail job involved mundane tasks like folding clothes and ringing at the register. But friends, boyfriends, and family members bombarded me with other inquires: how many boobs do you see a day? Do you think it's creepy when men come in? What's it like working there?

To offer some insight that goes beyond my personal experiences, I enlisted the help of four former VS sales associates who worked alongside me (and equally despised using the word "panty"): Julie (three years at two different stores), Jane (five years), Caitlyn (two years), and Cassandra* (two years). Behold: behind-the-scenes shocks, perks, and "secrets" of the most famous lingerie shop around.

SEE ALSO: Here's what it's really like working as a princess at Disney World

1. Working the fitting rooms is a nightmare

2. VS workers absolutely play favorites

Julie: "Victoria's Secret is a high-end store, so it does attract some elitist clientele. But the clients who treated me with respect — that's who I would scour the stock room for in search of that lime-green demi bra in a 34C. If you're rude, I'll tell you everything we have is already out so I don't have to walk back there in heels."

Brooke: "We weren’t allowed to gift wrap at the register — it holds up the lines — but if a client was chatty with me, sometimes I'd do it anyway. I remember one mom was shopping for Pink sweats to surprise her daughter because she had just gotten into college — coincidentally, the school I went to. So I happily wrapped her gift with a big bow. Connect with us and keep our jobs interesting — putting sensors on bras all day gets mind-numbing!"

3. If you're not nice, they'll use their headsets to warn each other

Brooke: "We used our headsets to do merchandise checks in the stockroom, as well as to let an associate in another zone know if we were sending a client her way. But if said client was testy, we'd give comical warning. Like, 'Julie, there is a woman who both looks and barks like a Pomeranian looking for a black Angels bra in a 36D.' We'd do it for laughs because every employee on headset could hear it."

• Thrillist spoke with retired, anonymous, and soon-to-retire MTA employees about what it's like to work on the New York City transit system.
• One employee said he blows steel dust or soot out from his nose when he gets home.
• Others said angry riders throw things at them or try to engage in physical altercations.
• Workers aren't allowed to eat on the job, they have to provide a doctor's note to call in sick, and they are required to take mandatory medical exams.
• Each line offers a different benefit: The above-ground trains get sunlight, while the 2 train is longer than others and often results in overtime pay.

Swiping your MetroCard can feel like throwing down a $2.75 bet on a craps table in Vegas. Will your train arrive on time? Will it arrive at all? If there's room for you to squeeze in, will the train get stuck in so-called "traffic" for 20 minutes?

Frustrations with the MTA are many, and it's easy to forget about the actual humans running the system and keeping New York moving 24/7 (even if it's sometimes at a painfully glacial pace).

On the rare occasions you do interact with MTA workers, it's probably to complain.

But these New Yorkers — who spend their days underground with the showtime performers and belligerent commuters — are some of the most essential in the city. Without a conductor and train operator (that's the driver) on 36 train lines, 24 hours a day, New York would pretty much cease to function.

"We are very misunderstood here at MTA by the public," an anonymous train operator told me. "I don't blame New Yorkers, but they really need to understand what goes into moving millions of people around each day, 365 days a year."

But perhaps New Yorkers can be excused for their patience running thin. After all, they've just emerged, sweating and infuriated, from the "Summer of Hell." Train delays have nearly doubled in the past generation, while performance has been in steady decline for years— strangely in tandem with cuts to maintenance funding.

And there's seemingly no light at the end of the (rat-ridden) tunnel. Reports suggest that the subway may cease its round-the-clock service, and that upcoming repairs will shut down the L train between Williamsburg and the East Village for a solid 15 months.


An MTA policy pretty much forbids transit workers from talking to the press, and the MTA declined to participate with this story. But we were able to track down recently retired MTA employees and some anonymous current workers to get a glimpse into what it's like to work on the transit system with the most stations of any in the world.

The working environment is brutal

"I loved being a subway conductor and moving 5 million people a day," Tom Scarda, a retired MTA worker, says. "It's being in the belly of the beast of New York." Scarda worked as a subway conductor on the B, D, and N trains to and from Coney Island from 1987 to 2000.

Unlike the dozens of MTA employees who politely said "no, thanks," when I asked if they wanted to talk about their jobs, Scarda wasn't afraid to chat about the facts. And they're dirty.

Commuting on the daily, New Yorkers fail to realize (or just block out) exactly how filthy the subway is. "When you get home at night, you blow out steel dust from your nose, it's really weird and unhealthy," Scarda said. This fine soot, created by train wheels running against the railing, is likely on all commuters, but accumulates once you spend hours underground.

Most riders also manage to tune out the overwhelming noise. "You don't realize as a passenger how loud it is," said Scarda, who worked in an era before commuters discovered noise-canceling headphones. "I have hearing loss because of it, but the [MTA] would never admit that. You get hearing problems from the loud decibel level of the trains."

One major perk of working in the subway system: It's against New York State Law to not allow state workers into their workplace, meaning MTA employees are granted free commutes on the LIRR and Metro-North, as well as trains or buses.

People throw stuff at you

Everyone gets subway rage from time to time. And most often, it's MTA workers that feel the full force. "As the conductor, you're the face of the subway system, so when things go bad, people take it out on you," one MTA operator told me. "I've had soda bottles thrown at me... one time someone threw a Bible at me. I'm not sure if they were trying to save me or felt their religion in the moment."

Lloyd, a soon-to-retire subway worker, chose the job because it was solid, had benefits and was a government position that didn't require running into a burning building or getting shot at. Or so he thought — he was once shot with a BB gun.

But in any altercation, Lloyd would choose a "kill 'em with kindness" response to prevent fights. "You have to keep a smile on your face, even when people are being rude," he said.

Physical interactions are more likely than you might think — some of the MTA employees' strangest memories involve unsolicited contact with passengers. "One time when we pulled into a station, a girl ran up to me and kissed me on the lips," Scarda said. "She giggled and her friends did too. I think it was a bachelorette scavenger hunt. I just smiled, closed the doors and kept going."

The money makes it bearable

While some MTA workers grew up riding the rails, watching older relatives run the trains or just envisioning themselves in the conductor's car, most chose the job for the same reason most of us are employed: cash.

And as with any job, workers have strategies on how to make bank. "Believe it or not, trains actually run on a timetable, so you have an odd work schedule," Scarda said. "You can have a report time of 5:12 p.m. and you go back and forth twice for two long trips and you'll then get a 15-40-minute lunch break, do the run again and your shift will end at 1:02 a.m. If it's any later, you get overtime."

For bagging the most overtime, Lloyd recommends the 2 line, which is a longer route than most. Plus, "the switches are poorly laid out, which backs everything up," he said. The F and the A are also known for being high-rollers.

Every MTA worker has their own favorite line, and they're not always motivated by money. Scarda felt depressed not seeing sunlight on the R train, though Lloyd prefers a mostly underground train in case of bad weather.

Operating trains used to be a promotion from working as a conductor or bus driver, but now you can be hired directly as a train operator.

And to be a train operator, you need to be in good health. There's a mandatory medical exam before MTA workers are put in control of a vehicle.

If someone gets injured on transit, MTA workers are drug-tested, even if they are faultless in the incident.

And sending an email when you're not feeling work doesn't cut it. MTA workers pretty much always need an approved doctor's note when calling in sick, a current employee told me.

There's a lot of kit to carry

Much smaller than a WeWork cubicle, the conductor car is a unique "office" for the New Yorkers working in the subway system.

MTA operators and conductors aren't supposed to eat on the job, but they do. Lloyd, for example, carries lunch or snacks with him for every route. "You don't know if you'll get time to eat and certain stops like Woodlawn are notorious for terrible food," he says. "It's technically against the rules to eat while driving, but I became known for bringing fruit — for vitamins — and a sandwich so if I got stuck on the train, I'd have something to eat."

It's common for workers to head into each subway run with a backpack full of personal items, like candy, fruit, gum or a thermos with hot coffee... plus all the mandatory safety equipment, keys, and a flashlight.

MTA workers have to commute too

Sleeping in the car is obviously not allowed, and napping in any part of MTA property is also forbidden. "The MTA may be lax during a snowstorm, so you can sleep in the locker room if you're stuck — it's all up to the supervision, though," Lloyd said. In bad weather, many employees will work a double shift to avoid commuting home, and then call in sick the next day.

There's no residency law for working on the subway, and the salaries can make it tough for some to afford New York City living. Groups carpool from the Poconos and far out on Long Island for shifts that start before sunrise. Off-hour schedules allow MTA workers to commute further distances and avoid traffic.

There's a strong bond between workers

Just as everyone rides the subway, the workforce is also weird and varied. This machine runs on humans, after all.

"They want to run it like a military, but they can't — they're dealing with civilians," Lloyd said of the MTA. "The beauty is all of us working together. I made many friends from different cultures, which is the biggest benefit of working for the MTA. You see that people different from you have the same wants and same ideals... We're more alike than we are different."

And just like any job, employees will vent, although they don't always mean it. "Guys will complain and complain, but they still want their kids to work there. It's a secure job you can get without a college degree," Lloyd said. His best advice for success at the MTA: "Just remember what the rule book says, even if you don't follow it."

SEE ALSO: 10 things you never knew about working at Victoria's Secret, according to former employees

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• A language barrier shouldn't prevent you from traveling.
• If you're looking for countries where you'll have a good chance of running into someone who speaks English, try visiting Germany or The Philippines.

If you went to American public schools, you probably speak a second language about as well as you do algebra. Twangy Spanglish makes telenovelas more of a hoot, and menu-grade French makes Montreal even slinkier (voulez vous coucher avec moi?) -- but let's be real, if the rest of the world hadn't adopted English as a lingua franca, the vast majority of Americans would be reduced to mimes when stumbling around overseas.

Ah, but there's the rub: English is the world's unofficial second language, with some estimates claiming that 1.5 billion people speak it. Tons of those folks are clustered in the usual roster of foreign lands -- the UK, Australia, Canada, Ireland, Jamaica, New Zealand, Oregon. Elsewhere, you may have to work harder to be understood, but you can always find people ready to meet you on your linguistic turf when you're on their soil. A language barrier won't keep you from taking an adventure in these 13 countries; included with each is the percent of people who speak English, per some probably-in-the-ballpark estimates. Take a trip anywhere on this list and you'll swear they've been practicing for your arrival. Because unlike you since taking German in 10th grade, they have been.

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Tanzania

How many people speak English: 10%
What it's like as an English speaker: English is widely spoken in this former British colony, especially in the cities and in the tourism industry. Most everyone you interact with will speak your language, which is mildly embarrassing until you remember that you saw The Lion King a few times back in the day. Then you'll start looking for conversational openings to casually drop Swahili words like simba (lion), mufasa (king), pumbaa (dimwit), rafiki (friend), and hakuna matata (no worries… for the rest of your daaaays). Pro tip: Call it Kiswahili, which is (stay with us now) the Swahili word for "Swahili," like Español is the Spanish word for "Spanish."
What Tanzania has to offer: Want to see The Lion King IRL? Tanzania has dozens of safari parks, including the world's largest (Selous Game Reserve) and its most famous one (Serengeti National Park). Time your visit right and you can catch the annual migration of 1.5 million wildebeest, a squad so imposing it's known simply as The Herd, as in "look sire, The Herd is on the move." (Don't go, Mufasa!) Another major draw is Kilimanjaro, where you can walk/cry all the way to the summit of Africa's tallest mountain. But if hiking to an airplane's cruising altitude doesn't sound like your idea of a vacation, head to the tropical island of Zanzibar to do nothing but lie on your back all day, drink from coconuts, and watch really tall Maasai Mara dudes herd cows on the beach. -- Sarah Theeboom, Thrillist contributor

Germany

How many people speak English: 70%
What it's like as an English speaker: After living in Berlin for over a decade, my German went from being basic to a more advanced basic. Buying a house, getting a job, starting a company, and making friends, although challenging, proved doable for an Anglophone. This is because most Germans are proud of their English and love using it when possible. Try out your German to someone in Berlin, and quite often they'll reply in English. It's taught from an early age, and like English, it's a Germanic language, with many similar principles. It is also the language of academia and international business, which thrives in the leading European country.
What Germany has to offer: In Berlin, like many of the other big cities -- Frankfurt, Hamburg, Munich -- English will get you far. Go on a guided tour, eat some schnitzel, go hiking, or hit up your favorite nightclubs, and you'll meet so many young, friendly Germans wanting to perfect their already impeccable English, you'll forget that you're in a country that invented such words as quietscheentchen (rubber duck) and streichholzschächtelchen (match lighters). Once you're done in Berlin, simply book a train ticket to your next destination with Bahn.de, the national rail service whose site is also available in, of course, English. -- Daniel Cole, Thrillist contributor

The Philippines

How many people speak English: 92%
What it's like as an English speaker: American English isn't merely Filipinos' second language; it's how many of them communicate regardless of who's in the mix. Beyond America's 50-year occupation (1898-1946, when Uncle Sam built hundreds of English-teaching schools, basketball courts, and Hollywood movie theaters), Filipinos also celebrate English words by singing, everywhere, all the time. They invented karaoke and perfected live music, a legacy of the lounge and rock bands that sprang up around Vietnam-era military bases that needed entertaining. Base towns became live Western-music hubs, and that scene remains a huge reason to visit this ultra-friendly tropical country.
What the Philippines has to offer: The Philippines is all about variety in landscapes and personality. In its 7,000 islands, you’ll find hundreds of idyllic tropical beaches, mountainous cloud forests, and Manila, the dazzling, kinda-haywire city of 17 million. It's traditional yet faddish, Asian in character but Western in disposition. Every neighborhood has multiple sing-along bars with non-canned music ranging from sitar/bongo duos to American Idol winner-types. Outdoor bargain cafes/traveler hangouts serving 75-cent bottles of cold beer abound, all spinning tunes from their massive classic rock and blues inventories. If you make only one stop: Hit the Hobbit House, a Downtown Manila institution. Gritty and gonzo, it's their version of CBGB -- an everyone-aboard live-rock club -- with the distinct twist of being staffed by little people. -- Bruce Northam, Thrillist contributor

• A website known as "Wanderu" can help you plan out a trip all across Europe for under $500.
• Buses from Bratislava, Slovakia to Vienna, Austria run as little as $5.
• Warsaw, Poland is a city full of history and affordable places to eat and stay.

Remember when the dollar was worth about four cents on the euro and American tourists were paying, like, $14 for ketchup? Trying to visit more than one city across the pond seemed exorbitant to the point of comedy. But favorable exchange rates have turned the tide — the era of the dirt-cheap Euro trip is back, baby! 

There's no shortage of world-class destinations you can actually afford to visit right now. Thanks to a slew of sleek new bus companies, you can actually loop around 15 of Europe's grand capital cities for 500 bucks. Yeah, I said bus. Wanderu is that site for bus and train travel that helps you find quick trips outta town for as little as $10, and the wizards there have worked their magic with European bus lines. All have comfy seats and free Wi-Fi, and many of these routes go over water, through mountains, and down streets of quaint towns you'd otherwise never see. Making this not only a cheap way to see Europe, but an especially unique one.

Leg 1: London, UK to Brussels, Belgium

Start your grand European tour at London's Victoria Coach Station. You'll see the countryside of Southeastern England, traverse the tunnel under the English Channel, skirt the coastline of France, and travel just outside Bruges and Ghent before arriving in Brussels. There's no better city to shelve your diet for the foreseeable future: The street carts beckon with waffles and fries, and there's basically a chocolatier on every corner. After you've had your fill of the best damn beer on the planet, you won't have a problem finding an Airbnb for less than a Benjamin per night. 

Don't leave without: Spending time at the Grand Place, the historic central square. It's lined with jaw-dropping Gothic and Baroque buildings with bars and coffee shops on the ground floors. From there you can watch the street performers put on nightly light shows in the summer.

Leg 2: Brussels, Belgium to Luxembourg City

Hoard some Belgian chocolate in your bag for later and move along. This route takes you through thick German forests, with a three-hour layover to explore the riverside city of Bonn. See the house where Beethoven was born, get a good look at the Rhine, and then head to the old fortressed city of Luxembourg, which is uniquely situated on plateaus amongst deep gorges.

Despite being one of the three unofficial "capitals" of the EU, Luxembourg stays under the radar; you won't find many other tourists here to muck up the experience. There's plenty of historic and politico-geek stuff to see, or just wander through the tunnels, parks, gardens, nooks, and crannies of the medieval old town.

Don't leave without: Checking out the 10.5 miles of underground caves that were once used as transportation and defense for the city's main castle. The ends of the tunnels have spectacular views that are well worth the crawl.

Leg 3: Luxembourg City to Amsterdam, Netherlands

Arrive at the infamous Dutch capital in just under seven hours. It's ridiculously easy to do Amsterdam on the cheap: People-watch in the red light district, check out the art galleries on Nieuwe Spiegelstraat, wander into one of the city's hidden gardens, or attend an outdoor film festival, all for exactly zero money. 

Don't leave without: Joining the 800,000 other bicyclists on the road. Amsterdam is one of the world's most cycle-friendly cities, and it's the ideal way to explore the canals, neighborhoods, and shopping districts. Then stop under the De Gooyer windmill (one of eight in the city) and enjoy a beer from the award-winning Brouwerij 't IJ brewery.

• A teen named Andrew recently took to Twitter to share the hilariously awkward incident he had in a Chick-fil-A bathroom. 
• Andrew was in the bathroom when one little boy crawled under his stall door to ask for help washing his hands. 
• In no position to get up and help the boy, Andrew just nervously laughed until the child opened the stall door and walked out. 
• The kid's dad apologized for his son's "very friendly" behavior after the video went viral on Twitter. 

It's important to know when you should ask for help. It's also good to have appropriate boundaries with strangers. Then again, when you're a little kid, it can be tough to reconcile those two things in every situation, as one poor teen learned the hard way when a young boy he didn't know crawled under the bathroom stall he was using in hopes of getting help washing his hands.

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• One man by the name of Tim McAfee is going viral for doing the impossible while playing an intense game of Jenga. 
• Former Colts punter Pat McAfee shared the impressive video of his father to his Instagram. 
• It's safe to say that his family was shocked when he successfully pulled a brick from what was probably the least stable part of the Jenga tower. 

Playing games with family can be terrible. It usually ends in a fight and when you wind up playing something like Monopoly, it goes on for way too long. What Jenga has going for it is that it's a relatively short game. At some point, there's just nothing the tower can do but fall.

That's true unless you're this guy, who isn't intimidated by Jenga layers that contain just one brick. He's figured out the secret Jenga. Deep in a game of giant Jenga, he went after a single brick in an area where there were four levels in a row that all contained just one brick. It's amazing, and no one should believe this was his first game of Jenga. He's the Michael Jordan of Jenga.

It's every bit as re-watchable as Parks and Recreation. It's entertaining, and it's instructional because if you've played more than two games of Jenga, you've tried and failed at this move. It should be impossible. No one has seen it work, except for your one friend who knows Kanye from "way back" and definitely doesn't constantly lie about mundane things.

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• Honomobar is turning recycled shipping containers into sleek and portable outdoor bars. 
• Each bar measures roughly 100 square feet and can be dropped off just about anywhere you want it. 
• No foundation is required for installation but you will need plumbing and electricity. 

A nice bar cart setup can add a certain air of sophistication to your home. But having an actual standalone bar on your property tells anyone who comes over that you are the ultimate host who may or may not throw the best parties in the neighborhood. If that's the sort of vibe you're shooting for, then you'll want to get know about a little company that builds slick standalone outdoor bars out of old shipping containers and delivers them straight to your backyard, or wherever it is that you want one.

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• There are a number of countries that are popular with expats and relatively easy for Americans to move to. 
• Most countries will let you stay on a tourist visa or a holiday visa for six months to a year.
• While the United Kingdom, Bali, and New Zealand aren't cheap, they have large numbers of English speakers and big expat communities. 
• Mexico and Canada are also easy to move to for short stints — but establishing permanent residency is harder. 

When it's time to leave the country for a spell — half a year, maybe, or for the rest of your life, who knows? — your very bones tell you. Your feet twitch. You fidget. You start absentmindedly petting any globes you come across. That urge to pick up and go is a powerful sensation. Then your brain gets involved and starts with the nagging questions: finances, time zones, logistics, paperwork.

Whatever you do, don't let your brain talk sense into you. Here, as a start, feed it these relatively low-lift countries for expats. The criteria for an "easy' relocation is relative, but English speakers, an expat tradition, and a Western-friendly culture all help. We also looked for immigration policies that will allow you to spend at least a year abroad, ideally more. Make an exploratory visit to your potential new homeland (duh), squirrel away some savings (double duh), and then square away logistics at home. Then embark on a full-blown adventure.

Who will you find when you go? Some Americans, inevitably. The best guesses at how many come from the Migration Policy Institute, unless specified otherwise. These countries may not be the cheapest (oh, but these countries are) and they may not make you the happiest (that honor goes to these countries here). But if you really need to get the hell out of dodge, these fantastic lands that will accommodate.

SEE ALSO: 18 amazing countries where you can stay, eat, and tour for less than you live at home

1. Mexico

Americans living there: 1 million, according to the US State Department

Why it's easy: It's cheap! And you can drive there! Besides, if you've ever crossed the border legally, you've already completed the paperwork for a six-month stay — that placard you once scribbled on a Cancun-bound plane, three nips deep, is a tourist visa that grants you half a year south of the border. You can't work legally with it, but six months should be plenty of time to pick one of two longer-term options.

Option 1: Scout out a legitimate life and then return to the States, where you can apply for a temporary resident visa. (You can't apply for one in Mexico.) Temporary resident visas can be renewed for up to four years and come in lucrative or non-lucrative classifications. The latter, popular among retirees, requires proof of economic self-sufficiency, either through savings or, say, the regular income of a pension.

Option 2: String together tourist visas, ad infinitum. Mexico's many beachy tourist hubs are always looking for bartenders or waitresses, jobs that usually pay in cash and don't require a work visa. Cross the border every six months, get a new tourist visa, and live the romance of a drifter with the status of a shady gringo. You didn't hear it from us, but since 2008, Mexico has known to be lax about cracking down on Americans with expired documents. As long as you're not accused of a crime, at worst you'll likely be fined, not deported.

The catch: Culturally, the rhythm of life is different. Things happen when they happen. Punctuality and scheduling are ruses. More severely, Mexico's ongoing drug war has finally spilled into tourist destinations like Los Cabos and Playa del Carmen, and although there's no evidence of immigrants or tourists being targeted, violent crime reached a 20-year high in August. Also, there's that whole thing about The Wall.

2. New Zealand

American emigrants there: 22,000

Why it's easy: If you're between the ages of 18 and 30, Kiwis have deliberately made it easy with their generous working holiday visa program, which grants young American travelers 12 months to explore without legal residency. Recipients can work for a year or study for six months with this visa, but your goal, according to the New Zealand immigration website, is to "enjoy your holiday.' This isn't an open invitation to crust punks: You have to demonstrate a cash reserve of at least $4,200 New Zealand dollars (about $3,000 USD) to be considered. If you're over 30, it's a little more difficult. Though you can get work permits and visas, preference goes to fields with employee shortages in New Zealand (engineers, tech workers, nurses).

The catch: New Zealand is the First World's escape plan. Billionaires with doomsday anxiety are buying up property on this Pacific island country at an alarming rate, with regular people following suit. According to the New Yorker, 13,401 Americans registered with New Zealand's immigration authorities the week after the 2016 presidential election, more than 17 times the usual rate. Already, the cost of living there is almost 10 percent higher than in the States, and rent and housing prices still rising. As the Lord of the Rings set becomes the Swiss bank of survival strategies, expect that to get worse.

3. Israel

American emigrants there: 79,000

Why it's easy: Passed in 1950, Israel's Law of Return grants all Jewish people the right to citizenship. With an estimated 5.3 million Jews in the United States— along with their non-Jewish spouses (same-sex included), children, and grandchildren — that makes more than 3% of the American population eligible to become Israeli citizens. The immigration process can take between six and eight months and includes an in-person interview, but the first step is as simple as uploading documents and opening a case online.

The catch: You don't have to speak Hebrew to relocate, but proficiency is a logistical and cultural asset. The pace of life is radically shifted from the States, with Saturday the holy day of rest (Shabbat) and Sunday the American Monday. Driving is a nightmare-cacophony of honking horns, though hitchhiking is still common here. Beer averages about $8 USD a pint in Tel Aviv. For non-Jews, immigration is a much more arduous commitment that requires extended residency and a Hebrew proficiency exam. If you're fundamentally opposed to commingling church and state, you're probably looking in the wrong place.

• Thrillist identifies the richest suburbs of the 35 largest cities in America — specifically, the most "obnoxiously rich."
• They canvassed experts on each city to identify which would make the list.
• Some of the towns included are: New York's suburb Roslyn, LA's Santa Clarita, and the Atlanta suburb, Brookhaven.

We're gonna take a guess: If you're checking to see if your town is on this list, you probably live in the sort of place that would take the "Obnoxiously Rich" distinction as a secret point of pride. And why not? It proves what you've known — this place is great, and the only reason more people don't say so is because they can't admit the facts. Grand houses. Great schools. Excellent tennis instructors. The very best groundskeepers and gated-subdivision on-call security guards in the city.

But you know what really makes your town special? The people. And it's the people — your people — we want to celebrate in this list.

Our methods are partly data-driven, mostly subjective.

We canvassed experts on all of these cities, many of them natives of your town either years ago or presently. A lot of these choices did come down to silly little quantifiers like money — but what doesn't, though, are we right? — while other factors, we navigated by feel.

Put it this way: If you're here, it's not merely for being wealthy or pompous or aloof or profligate, although you may be all of the above. No, mostly you're here because you bring that certain extra something. You're unmistakably, unabashedly yourself. You may not be the coolest — these are the coolest suburbs in America— but who wants to be cool when you can be rich?

SEE ALSO: Retiring a millionaire at 43 hasn't made me 'happier' — but it was definitely worth it

Atlanta: Brookhaven, Georgia

Population: 51,029

Exciting and pompous fact: Decades ago, long before incorporating as Brookhaven, this new North Atlanta city was actually a city named North Atlanta (because ewww, "Atlanta").

Today, the city of Brookhaven is exactly what it sounds like: a haven for people named Brook. There's Town Brookhaven, which is one of those weird villages that has decent-at-best food, a theater with couches and alcohol, and a Costco. There's Peachtree Golf Club, which was designed in part by Bobby Jones in the late 1940s, and therefore gives residents the feeling that they belong to something but in reality makes them a tiny version of Augusta, and LMAO at that being a thing.

They even tried to have their own version of Atlanta's beloved Dogwood Festival – the Cherry Blossom Festival — which recouped only half of the $300k+ budget it blew asking people to come by and spend their money on some shit you're apparently supposed to buy while looking at some damn flowers.—Mike Jordan, Thrillist Atlanta editor emeritus

Austin: West Lake Hills, Texas

Population: 3,063

Exciting and pompous fact: A 2005 "Texas Monthly" essay on growing up in West Lake Hills says: "Attending Westlake High meant never having to apologize for being wealthy or successful. And if other towns hated us, it surely wasn't our fault."

Secluded from the rest of Austin by way of the Colorado River, Westlake sits high atop the enviably scenic hills of West Austin, and residents clearly relish their geographical vantage point as they literally look down upon all those lesser neighborhoods from their frightfully steep driveways. Even worse than these silver-spooners (who still consider themselves "hip" and "alternative" because they're "from Austin") are their insanely privileged spawn who terrorize the area around Westlake High School in their Range Rovers but, lucky for the rest of the city, don't deign to venture down from their perch in the hills too often. —Ciera Velarde, editorial production assistant

Baltimore: Clarksville, Maryland

Population: 11,236

Exciting and pompous fact: Even the Wikipedia page brags about how its public schools are better funded than competing private and charter schools in the area.

I can't really speak to this area, so I'll let my friend who grew up in Howard County do the honors: "A town of big, historically charming homes owned by people who made their money doing incredibly boring things, so they compensate by trying to ramp their snobbiness up, quite possibly out of boredom. Also, somewhat confusingly, they have a Ruby Tuesday." Maryland confounds me. —Kevin Alexander, national writer-at-large

• When Americans picture the Greek islands, the first images that come to mind are likely the white stucco buildings and deep blue waters of Santorini and Mykonos. 
• Travel writer, Kastalia Medrano, is the daughter of a Greek immigrant and grew up visiting her grandmother in Athens most summers. 
• Her family wouldn't stay in Athens for long, opting for the more remote islands most tourists haven't heard of. 
• Medrano shares five small Greek islands that offer just as much beauty and adventure as the tourist attractions on the main islands. 

You probably think you know what the Greek islands look like, and to a certain extent you do. The rocky terraces and blinding-white houses with blue shutters, and the grey footpaths with white paint separating each stone. But if your imagination veers from there into the Pinterest-y direction of Santorini and Mykonos, you're missing out. Islands like that have exploded with Western tourists — in part because those are the islands with their own airports. The ones without have long been the vacation spots of primarily Greek tourists, and it's both ironic and of course deeply inevitable that the hordes of American tourists who flock to the more name-brand islands in pursuit of fetishized "authenticity" are overlooking the spots where that exists in its purest form.

As the daughter of a Greek immigrant, I grew up visiting my grandmother in Athens most summers, except that upon arrival we would promptly flee Athens in favor of a distant dry rock in the sea. Don't misunderstand — the Greek islands are not lush or green or in any way remotely tropical in appearance. They're arid and dusty and charming, home to small fishing villages and tavernas with the tables wedged unevenly in the sand on the beach. Most have a population of a few thousand for the entire island; in the off-season, maybe a few hundred. You'll eat octopus, and sea urchins, and fresh fish, and every honey-drenched pastry imaginable. I've spent mornings swimming out to a church on a spit of land that I climb up to from the sea, and had tiny silver fish jump from the water and arc back and forth over my head. It's almost as if they'd never seen a person before, which is more like the sort of adventure you also may be chasing.

Here's where to find it.

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Kythnos

Kythnos (also spelled Kithnos, depending on the translation) is quiet and lovely, and the particular magic of it is that for an island so very off the grid it's actually the easiest one to get to. If you're coming from the port of Piraeus, which you probably are, it's the first stop on the Cyclades ferry route I can still recite by heart if you get me tipsy. In a way, it's almost the Aegean equivalent of flyover country — everyone passes it on their way to somewhere else, and we all see the port town of Merichas every trip but most of us never actually get off there. Head to the town of Loutra for the thermal springs. The real move is just to rent a scooter and explore the infinite remote beaches for yourself; much of Kythnos is a time-capsule from the days before Western tourism.

Kea

Kea is actually even closer to the mainland than Kythnos, it just doesn't always appear on the same ferry routes. If you are a licensed scuba diver or even remotely interested in snorkeling, Kea is is your place. There are some fantastic wrecks, and caverns, most notably the steamship Patris, which sank in the 1860s after hitting the island's reef. That reef, by the way, means Kea is also rich in marine life. Sure, there's good diving in Mykonos, but a dive is going to be, like, one afternoon of your trip tops, and then you're stuck spending the rest of it with all the other people who go to Mykonos.

Folegandros

Folegandros is a pipsqueak, with well under 1,000 residents during the off-season. There are no chain hotels. No cruise ships come here. Few people in general come here; mostly Greek families in the summertime. This is not because Folegandros is any less beautiful than any of its peers, just that it's small and out of the way, and as a result one of those places that inspires descriptions like "hidden gem" and "off the beaten path" and the ever-heinous "undiscovered." Charter a fishing boat from the port to explore (there's good diving here, too) and set aside a sunrise and/or sunset for hiking the trails that traverse the island.

• Your ancestors got you to where you are today, whether or not you know who they are. 
• There are entire industries with resources to help you locate your ancestors, making it easy to piece together your family history.
• Author Matt Crossman tracked down his ancestors in Italy — his tips include using experts, referring to family stories, and being prepared for the unexpected.

SEE ALSO: All blue-eyed people have a single ancestor in common

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